Month: June 2024

9 June 2017 Bloody foreigners. I’ve cleaned out the fridge, eaten the last yoghurt, chucked out the olives and the rest of the rice, the end of the butter, a forlorn courgette and all the sundry dregs of a week away alone, and there’s a single slice of ham in…

22 April 2022 The rose leans over the wall, away from us, shy. I gently grasp the branch and pull it towards us. She leans in, and smells. — My nose is blocked. That creamy white, it’s lovely. — I think you taught me to look at colour. I remember…

7 June 2023 Not a time of day either of us generally venture out, but a surprising number of people are already abroad—many in school uniform or work clothes. There is a palpable excited determination in the air at this hour that contrasts starkly with the sullen resignation of evening…

12 August 2015 A couple of days on the road. Hoping to reach Lyon by nightfall on Saturday, we made good progress until Chalon sur Saône where, as tradition dictates, we entered the Pootle, the obligatory routine initiated by Heather on the first night of driving. It generally begins something…

24 November 2010 Drive up the coast road from the Italian border (as Edward Fox did in Day of the Jackal) along the French Riviera as far as Roquebrunne (as Ernest Hemingway did in Men Without Women), and climb the hairpins (as Grace Kelly and Cary Grant did in To…

5 June 2019 Oh good god. Air B&B in Yeovil with mein host Alan, who (it turns out) runs a Christian ministry from his home. He rises early, reads a few verses from the Bible, then records his thoughts on video which he uploads to YouTube. So far, so you-can-put-all-the-scatter-cushions-you-like-on-the-bed-but-it-can’t-hide-the-fact-your-mattress-is-abysmal….

19 May 2024 In the Nikon lounge, a tall woman stands in front of a display of plastic flowers hanging from the ceiling on invisible threads. Next to her is a large sign saying DO NOT TOUCH. —Hi, are you Scarlet? —Hi, yes I am. —Well this is a little…

3 June 2022 I spent the first year or so at home and most of it in my underwear. I shuffled up and down the stairs a couple of times and we had breakfast in front of the telly. We watched people decked out in their flags and hats and…